Aminu Abdullahi

A sociologist at  Bayero University Kano (BUK) Aminu Sabo Dambazau has identified five factors that increase the  rate of divorce in Kano state.

Mr Dambazau told Kano Focus on Thursday that the factors including mismatched characters, rivalry, forced marriage, suspicion, and dissatisfaction.

Mismached characters

Mr Dambazau said intending couples rush into marriage without understanding each other.

“Some people misuse the courtship period in solely expressing their feelings without exploring the characters and expectations of their partners.

“They neither understand the obligations and responsibilities of marriage nor do they have the chance to find out the characters, habits, and life views of each other.

“Therefore after marriage when their true characters appear they would start to have problem in their marriages.” Mr Dambazau said.

Rivalry

The scholar said about 45% of divorce cases in Kano state are caused by co-wife rivalry.

He said a lot of marriages come to an end the moment the husband starts wooing a second wife.

“Most women do not accept a co-wife and prefer to end the marriage than share their husbands with another woman.

“This habit leads to the breakup of many marriages,” he stated.

Forced marriage

Mr Dambazau said another major factor that causes divorce in Kano state is forced marriage.

He said women are still forced into marrying a man they do not love due to financial or social pressure on the parents.

“Whenever a wife doesn’t like her husband she will do anything possible to get a divorce.

“Frankly speaking, forced marriage will never last as no one can stay with a person he hates,” he stated.

Suspicion

The BUK sociologist said suspicion among couples contributes immensely to the high rate of divorce in Kano state.

“No couple will live in peace as long as they are suspicious of one another.

“Unfortunately this is a growing problem as some women always check their husband’s phones in order to find incriminating evidence.” Mr Dambazau said.

Dissatisfaction

He added that some husbands fail to gratify the needs of their wives such as feeding, clothing, and sexual desire.

“Whenever a husband fails to feed his wife he will not get respect from her.

“How will you marry a woman when you cannot cater for her needs?

“This is what is happening in our society.” The lecturer said.

The road to divorce

Some divorcees in Kano corroborated the scholar’s findings.

Maryam Abdullahi, mother of a one year old child said she left her husband after a year because he refused to allow her continue with her studies.

“I was married off to him immediately after completing secondary school even though I told my parents that I want to continue to a higher institution.

“Before the marriage, he promised to allow me continue with my education but he broke the promise after our wedding.” She said.

Ms Abdullahi said she does not regret her decision to end the marriage.

“By God’s will I’ll fulfill my ambition and I’m optimistic to have my desired husband,” Maryam said.

Unfair husband

Another divorcee Surayya Abubakar whose marriage ended after eight months said her husband was giving priority to her co-wife.

“He favored her over me and used to buy things for her that he was not buying for me.

“When I complained, he divorced me.

“Our parents met several times but the mediation was in vain as he did not change.

“I also asked him if I was offending him but he said I wasn’t.” Ms Abubakar said.

I’ll never marry again

But Ramla Yusuf whose marriage lasted five months explained that her husband was a fraud who posed as a rich business man before the marriage.

“I realized that he was a liar during the wedding dinner when he couldn’t provide the bridal gown.

“He lied that he owned a big house but I was taken to an old rental house.

“It turned out that he was jobless and penniless.

“I really suffered in his hand and after only five months I asked him to divorce me.” She said.

Ms Yusuf added that she does not plan to marry again as she didn’t know that marriage could be so painful.

Dirty woman

On his part, a male divorcee, Usman Shehu said he divorced his wife after a year of marriage because she was dirty and did not know how to cook delicious meals.

“I cautioned her to change her habit but she refused and I also complained to her parents but still nothing changed.

“I swear she can spend two days without taking a bath – she was not a wife anybody will bear to live with,” Mr Shehu said.

Another person Umar Ibrahim said he divorced his wife because she did not respect him and his family.

“We married for love but I did not know she was bad until she came to my house.

“She cheated me severely and also inflicted tension between my family and I,” he lamented.

Mr Ibrahim said has been sleeping well since he divorced her two months ago.

How to reduce divorce in Kano

Mr Dambazau, who has a PhD in Sociology, said the best means of reducing the rate of divorce in Kano state is to revive the defunct Zauren Sulhu community forum established by the Ibrahim Shekarau administration.

“Zauren Sulhu was one of the ways to discuss community issues such as marital problems.

“The forum will listen to both sides and counsel them without leading to divorce. He said.

Mr Dambazau said the families of the couples can mediate and save the marriages from divorce.

Islamic perspective

An Islamic cleric Nuhu Muhammad said there are things that couples should observe before getting married.

“Every woman or man should make sure their partner has Islamic knowledge and good character.

“Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said you should marry whoever you agree with his religiosity,” he said.

Mr Muhammad advised couples to avoid telling lies before marriage because most marriages breakdown due to false expectations.

“They don’t display who they are because they blindly want to possess each other so after the marriage when the truth is revealed they divorce.” The Islamic scholar said.

He therefore advised couples to build their marriages based on the teachings of Islam and exercise patience with one another.